Poppy D. Cat: May 2006

I Finally Understand What It Means

Meeeoooww to you. All of my life I have seen this red, white and blue striped thing billowing about outside my window and while I always found it pretty and nice to watch, I did not know until today just how important it truly is. You see, it is the American Flag and there are many, many people who have fought very hard to keep this graceful symbol flying. For over 200 years, American people have even gone so far as to sacrifice their own lives just so I and my ladyperson & manperson can live peaceful, contented lives. I know it's that same sacrifice by those very brave men and women that lets me leisurely stretch in a sun spot on my carpet and watch the lovely flag gently dance in the wind as it lulls me to sleep. Those people who fought so hard (and continue to fight today) are called "Soldiers" and my ladyperson and manperson have adult children who are Soldiers but, until now, I never really understood or appreciated what that meant. I've seen them in their sharp uniforms with stripes on their coats and I can tell by the way their chests stand out that they are very, very proud to bear that uniform: perhaps even as proud as I am to have this very important symbol of everything that is right posted prominently outside my window as confirmation of our appreciation and respect. So today my Love, my Respect, and my Gratitude are extended to all of those brave and giving Soldiers who keep my flag, my family and my country safe.

Cat On A Mission

Morenipformeeeennooowww!!! Where's the 'Nip? Where IS the 'Nip??!! I am haunted by the memory of my last hit o' the 'Nip. It calls my name in the middle of my deepest slumber and I find myself wandering aimlessly searching for more. And I've got that creepy feeling that I'm always being watched. I can't sleep, I can't eat (well not as much anyway), and I haven't even noticed the stupid brown dog in days. The lure of the 'Nip has consumed every ounce of my persona. If only I could be an occasional nipper but I simply CAN'T! I want it all ... ALL the 'Nip for meeeee!!!! I've heard soooo many tragic tales of cats who've let the 'Nip get the best of them. They talk of a cat from Ohio who rode that "Nip-train" every night till dawn, stumbling home with twigs and such tangled in his fur. And the 'Nip has been known to turn some of my feline buds into (pardon my foul language): Gutter Cats!! Eeeeeewwwwww! I refuse to think that such could be my destiny. I am stronger than this Nip. I am, afterall, a CAT!! And Poppy D. Cat, at that!!!

I've Been Taken Hostage by the Lure of the 'Nip!

Woe-is-Meeeeoooww! I can't believe this has happened to me. I found the Catnip stash (or should I say the stash found me) that my ladyperson had tucked away and I'm so ahamed ... I truly believed I was stronger than this. My keen feline senses got a whiff of it this evening and I could not let it go. I methodically searched the entire house, entranced by the magnetism of the 'Nip. I carefully roamed each bit o'square footage when I centered on the laundry room and Bingo!! there was my glorious bounty in a neat little fabric pouch hidden above the clothes dryer. I called out several mournful meows while my ladperson and manperson pretended not to notice. I then bounded to the top of the clothes dryer, snatched that 'Nip and ran to the cool tile of the kitchen floor where I embraced my new-found prize. I drooled uncontrollably while I nuzzled its intoxicating fragrance, all the whilst my fingers and toes were splayed out in a most embarassing manner. Could it be that my manperson and ladyperson are using the 'Nip in a lame attempt to weaken me? To turn me into a simple, blithering idiot in a desire to make themselves seem superior to me? Because, heaven knows they couldn't even begin to appear superior to me when I am at my normally robust feline capacity. But this 'Nip! It gets the best of me and I am at its mercy! I know I should Just Say No but I can't! I won't! In fact, I want more, I tell you!!

Happy Mother's Day to All Ladypersons

Meeeyyooowww!! Perhaps there are times when I may appear to be a bit critical of my ladyperson, but I know deep down inside that she really, really loves me. Here's how I know:

* She always shares her bed pillow with me at night.

* If we are all sleeping and I have a bad dream, maybe about fleas jumping on me from the smelly brown dog or something like that, she always lets me snuggle up with her and she'll even hug me tight until I'm not scared anymore.

* Anytime I wanna play mousie (that's our little game where she throws my purple mouse toy and I fetch it and bring it back to her), she plays with me and she will continue to play as long as I want her to.

* If I determine that the water in my water bowl is not cold enough, I can tell her and she will very promptly swap it out for fresh, cool water.

* If the manperson starts taunting me, she gives him THE LOOK and he quickly backs down. That look even works on the stupid brown dog, too!

* She always buys me the name brand chowchow; no generic stuff for me, baby!

* If she's in the backyard playing with her flowers or in her vegetable garden, she lets me go outside with her so I can lay in the soft grass and enjoy the sunshine, too.

* And most of all: Every single evening after a hard day's work (I mean MY hard day's work, of course) she comes home and she scoops me up and she hugs me and hugs me, then hugs me some more. And nobody can scratch my chin and make me feel as yummy inside as she does.

She's very special indeed, but then, that's why I picked her!

Why Can't I Go Outside??!!

Meeefreakinoowww!! My ladyperson will NOT let me go outside thru the front door and I have just about had enough of this! Everybody else gets to be outside in front of my house! Birds are always out there chirping away like they own the place. Noisy little children skip along my sidewalk. I've even seen the occasional lowly neighborhood dog out there sniffing on bushes. And sometimes at night? CATS!!

Sure, she lets me go outside in the backyard and I have a great time but, c'mon! There's a 6 foot wooden fence surrounding me back there! How can a worldly cat such as myself expand my horizons from behind a wooden fence?

Not to worry though. I will continue to perch myself at this front door and one day ... one glorious day ... I will escape to the oft-dreamed of FRONT YARD. My only consolation is that on the rare occasion that the stupid brown dog gets to go thru the front door, she's tied to the manperson's hand by a long rope of some sort! Ha! Never will you see me tied to a human's hand. NEVER!

It Ain't Easy Being Me

Meeedoubleoowww! It seems that everywhere I go I have Poppyrazzi following me. I run from them. I hide amongst the monkey grass. I shield my face in an attempt to discourage them but still they attempt to follow my every step. Are these photos being sold to others without my knowledge? And, if so, WHERE IS MY CUT o' the ca$h??

My cattorney is looking into this and I assure all of you Poppyrazzi types: prepare to share the wealth because I can not (WILL not!) have snapshots of me dancing about cyberspace without my permission. It simply will not happen! I expect complete creative control of anything pertaining to myself.

But then again, perhaps the right agent could turn this into a positive situation for everyone concerned. Hmmm ... I've gotta go. I have some phone calls to make. Now what's that area code for Hollywood, California?

---> I had an emergency today and there was nobody here to tend to me! A rescue was in order but neither my ladyperson or manperson showed up to help! The smelly brown dog was outside in her doghouse but she'd have been of no use anyway. Here's what happened: Upon arising from my mid-morning nap (I always snooze a bit after watching "Price is Right"), I was leisurely snacking on some kibble when I saw something I've NEVER seen before: the bottom of my chowchow bowl!! The horror!! I never even knew there WAS a bottom to my bowl! I was in such distress that by the time my ladyperson came home that evening, she felt the need to perform CPR on me. I panted and weakly rolled my eyes toward my chowchow bowl and she got the message. That bowl is FULL now and I suspect she'll keep it that way for a long, long time. Besides, I'm pretty sure nether one of us enjoyed the CPR very much. Eeeewwww!!

---> Once again, summer is fast approaching and ONCE AGAIN I must retrain my ladyperson and manperson on the art of climate control. When they leave our abode each morning for their meager jobs, they tend to either 1) have the air conditioner at a totally inappropriate level of warmth, or 2) leave windows opened just enough that the horrid chirping of the neighborhood birds interferes with the depth of my mid-morning nap. It is clearly evident that they have not retained any of the knowledge I tried to impart on them this time last year. Oh, why do I tolerate them at all? Why, I ask you?

---> Winter is winding down and the warmer weather is fast approaching. In fact, most afternoons now my house gets a wee bit toasty. But I'm okay with that since I'm usually napping in a windowsill anyway. However: I must draw the line about my waterbowl: it should NEVER reach a lukewarm temperature. My ladyeperson knows that I require ice in my water to help maintain my perky personality. This is just one more thing I have to constantly remind her of. I'm thinking that if she were truly conscientious, she'd use her lunch hour to stop by the house and refresh my water bowl with the cool liquid I crave. But, alas, she is still greatly lacking in what I like to call 'home-training'.

---> On occasion when my ladyperson is walking across the room or down the hall, I dart in front of her and entwine myself between her feet as is customary for cats to do. Well, she does NOT understand this bit of cat logic and has on more than one occasion dared to ALMOST step on me!! She is always quick to apologize but that is entirely inconsequential. She either needs to accept this bit of cat etiquette (aka: cats always have the right of way) or she needs to stay outside because I will NOT be getting stepped on. The very idea....

---> OK, picture this: I'm minding my own business, snoozing peacefully on my ladyperson's bed pillow (likely dreaming of grilled shrimp, buttered scallops or some other such delicacy) and my ladyperson spots me and assumes it's perfectly sane to cuddle me RIGHT THEN! Of course it wakes me from my slumber! Ugh! I give her the obligatory purr or two, knead her bedspread (she calls that 'making biscuits'... whatever) and she eventually moseys on about her business. Then I have to reacquaint myself with my dream and hope nobody ate my shrimp while I was gone.

---> I have overheard my ladyperson on more than one occasion tell other humans the story of how it came to be that I should share a home with her and the manperson. You see, I was resting at the local animal shelter (I was simply between gigs, ok?) when she and the manperson happened to be visiting. Well, to hear HER tell it, I am "one lucky kitty" because, as she says, SHE CHOSE ME. Excuse me?? First of all, I do the choosing around here and - more importantly - THEY are the lucky ones. I can't believe she continues to tell this story as if they've done me a favor by inviting me into their home. I chose them and, I reiterate: THEY ARE THE LUCKY ONES. Period.

---> Summer is officially here. And that means air conditioning (perhaps the greatest invention of the human race, although I still say a cat gave them the idea.) Anyway, my ladyperson has this obscene habit of turning the air conditioner thermostat UP when she leaves the house each morning. By 'UP', I mean she adjusts the temperature so that the house gets significantly warmer as the day progresses. Now she says it's all in the name of economy, but I have a better word and that word is "C-H-E-A-P". She knows I'm here all day ... how does she expect me to remain comfortable at 78 degrees? Hello?!? But that's ok: once I figured out what was happening, I simply started changing the thermostat to what I want as soon as she leaves. Of course, I change it back before she returns home in the evening. Aaaahhhh... sometimes it gets so nippy in here, I have to snuggle mid-day in her bedcovers! Too bad for the stupid brown dog that she stays outside in the backyard all day. But, oh well, we can't all be cats, now can we?!