You call that 'Vodka'??

Meeeehiccuppoowww! Perhaps this was my manperson's idea of humor, but the beverage he graciously offered me a sip of turned out to be the most vulgar-tasting spirit ever to rest on my well-trained taste buds. He calls it "vodka". I call it "Ripple in a vodka bottle". I should have known he was a fan of the unrefined brands of adult beverage. And to think I used to keep my good liquors locked in a cabinet for fear he might attempt a sip .... I see there is no need to do so now. Obviously, after years of dining upon the gruel he calls "food" his taste buds are ruined beyond repair.

At least now I know where to go when one of my hard-living gutter cat friends shows up looking for a nightcap before resting his weary head. (They don't appreciate my fine liquors, either.)

Whew! Being a Cat can be Very Exhausting!

Meeeewhew!ooowww ... It is safe to say that you can not truly appreciate or begin to understand all of the work that goes into being a cat. Please indulge me while I detail for you just a few of my many workday duties:

* I must visit every pillow in the house at least twice to test its fluffiness.
* I'm obligated to remove any tasty remnants from dishes that might have been left in the sink from the night before.
* For security measures, I must spend at least 3 hours perched on the sunniest windowsill of the house to thwart off any potential break-ins from neighborhood birds.
* In must make certain I am visable through windows on the front side of the house to remind neighborhood dogs that they are outside in the cold and I am inside where it is warm.
* I meticulously bathe from eartip to the end of my tail: I'll start on my ladyperson's side of the bed, eventually migrating to the sofa. And I ALWAYS finish my bath in the manperson's Lazy-Boy recliner.
* I must empty my chowchow bowl and practice my weakest and most pitiful cry so I am ready to admonish my ladyperson the instant she walks in the door at 5:00.

So?! You think you could do it? I think not!!

Meeeeefreakinoowww!! I don't know what the deal is, but my manperson and ladyperson appear completely ignorant to the fact that it is C-O-L-D this time of year. How do I know? They refuse to increase the heat in the house! Either they are too 'economically challenged' to pay a higher heating bill or senility has finally crept in and they can no longer tell cold from warm. Regardless, IT IS COLD IN MY HOUSE!! You'd think my ladyperson would catch on since she awakens each moning to find me sleeping ON HER FACE. And one would think that wiping cat hairs from one's eyes each morning would be a tad bit annoying but - well, we are talking about MY cat hairs so ... never mind! I'm certain she feels lucky!