Poppy D. Cat: March 2017

The Story of Me, as Told by My Ladyperson

Yes, this really is how I found my forever home.

In the words of my ladyperson:

"Twelve years ago, after sufficiently mourning the loss of my previous cat Weenie, I was ready to bring home a new kitty to love. My husband and I repeatedly visited our local animal shelter for weeks, until finally, a beautiful white kitty with a funny black mustache grabbed my heart. She hadn't yet been completely vetted, so we went home empty-handed.

One week later we returned to the same shelter and I told my husband, "If mustache kitty is still here, it's a sign she belongs with us." Well, she was still there and was now ready for adoption! I held her and loved on her and was ready to give her a forever home.

Then I felt something tapping at the ankle of my jeans. I looked down in fright, only to see a fuzzy gray arm stretched as far as it possibly could, pawing at my leg. I handed mustache kitty to a little girl who was admiring her and knelt down to see who/what was reaching for my leg.

In the dark, floor-level cage, I discovered a small mound of smoky gray fur with stunning yellow-green eyes. This little teenage cat was lying on its side with both arms extended as far as possible through the cage bars, pawing at my leg. I asked a shelter employee if I could see this mysterious cat up close and the cage was unlocked. I picked up the soft, limber kitty and cuddled him while he clutched onto my shoulders and immediately began kneading ("making biscuits", as I like to call it).

At first I thought this gray kitty was clutching me from fright but I quickly determined that he had chosen me to rescue him! It was very difficult to pry him from my sweatshirt and place him back in his dark, bottom-shelf cage, but I did so as I told my husband, "This is the cat we are meant to bring home."

I considered naming him 'Velcro' because of his clingy nature, but settled on 'Poppy' because he is the color of a Poppy seed and didn't seem much bigger than one, at the time. Was it love at first sight? Absolutely! For both of us! But I suspect Poppy would be quick to deny this publicly."

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---> I had an emergency today and there was nobody here to tend to me! A rescue was in order but neither my ladyperson or manperson showed up to help! The smelly brown dog was outside in her doghouse but she'd have been of no use anyway. Here's what happened: Upon arising from my mid-morning nap (I always snooze a bit after watching "Price is Right"), I was leisurely snacking on some kibble when I saw something I've NEVER seen before: the bottom of my chowchow bowl!! The horror!! I never even knew there WAS a bottom to my bowl! I was in such distress that by the time my ladyperson came home that evening, she felt the need to perform CPR on me. I panted and weakly rolled my eyes toward my chowchow bowl and she got the message. That bowl is FULL now and I suspect she'll keep it that way for a long, long time. Besides, I'm pretty sure nether one of us enjoyed the CPR very much. Eeeewwww!!

---> Once again, summer is fast approaching and ONCE AGAIN I must retrain my ladyperson and manperson on the art of climate control. When they leave our abode each morning for their meager jobs, they tend to either 1) have the air conditioner at a totally inappropriate level of warmth, or 2) leave windows opened just enough that the horrid chirping of the neighborhood birds interferes with the depth of my mid-morning nap. It is clearly evident that they have not retained any of the knowledge I tried to impart on them this time last year. Oh, why do I tolerate them at all? Why, I ask you?

---> Winter is winding down and the warmer weather is fast approaching. In fact, most afternoons now my house gets a wee bit toasty. But I'm okay with that since I'm usually napping in a windowsill anyway. However: I must draw the line about my waterbowl: it should NEVER reach a lukewarm temperature. My ladyeperson knows that I require ice in my water to help maintain my perky personality. This is just one more thing I have to constantly remind her of. I'm thinking that if she were truly conscientious, she'd use her lunch hour to stop by the house and refresh my water bowl with the cool liquid I crave. But, alas, she is still greatly lacking in what I like to call 'home-training'.

---> On occasion when my ladyperson is walking across the room or down the hall, I dart in front of her and entwine myself between her feet as is customary for cats to do. Well, she does NOT understand this bit of cat logic and has on more than one occasion dared to ALMOST step on me!! She is always quick to apologize but that is entirely inconsequential. She either needs to accept this bit of cat etiquette (aka: cats always have the right of way) or she needs to stay outside because I will NOT be getting stepped on. The very idea....

---> OK, picture this: I'm minding my own business, snoozing peacefully on my ladyperson's bed pillow (likely dreaming of grilled shrimp, buttered scallops or some other such delicacy) and my ladyperson spots me and assumes it's perfectly sane to cuddle me RIGHT THEN! Of course it wakes me from my slumber! Ugh! I give her the obligatory purr or two, knead her bedspread (she calls that 'making biscuits'... whatever) and she eventually moseys on about her business. Then I have to reacquaint myself with my dream and hope nobody ate my shrimp while I was gone.

---> I have overheard my ladyperson on more than one occasion tell other humans the story of how it came to be that I should share a home with her and the manperson. You see, I was resting at the local animal shelter (I was simply between gigs, ok?) when she and the manperson happened to be visiting. Well, to hear HER tell it, I am "one lucky kitty" because, as she says, SHE CHOSE ME. Excuse me?? First of all, I do the choosing around here and - more importantly - THEY are the lucky ones. I can't believe she continues to tell this story as if they've done me a favor by inviting me into their home. I chose them and, I reiterate: THEY ARE THE LUCKY ONES. Period.

---> Summer is officially here. And that means air conditioning (perhaps the greatest invention of the human race, although I still say a cat gave them the idea.) Anyway, my ladyperson has this obscene habit of turning the air conditioner thermostat UP when she leaves the house each morning. By 'UP', I mean she adjusts the temperature so that the house gets significantly warmer as the day progresses. Now she says it's all in the name of economy, but I have a better word and that word is "C-H-E-A-P". She knows I'm here all day ... how does she expect me to remain comfortable at 78 degrees? Hello?!? But that's ok: once I figured out what was happening, I simply started changing the thermostat to what I want as soon as she leaves. Of course, I change it back before she returns home in the evening. Aaaahhhh... sometimes it gets so nippy in here, I have to snuggle mid-day in her bedcovers! Too bad for the stupid brown dog that she stays outside in the backyard all day. But, oh well, we can't all be cats, now can we?!